I’m willing to wait…for you or for no one. No worries.
An open letter from Mr. Right.
Dear daughters of God,
Contrary to what you have heard, I do exist. I’m no fairytale hunk with big muscles and thing for chick flicks (although, I may or may not have a man bun). So, put your daydreams of love off to the side for a minute and let me tell you what makes me, “Mr. Right” and why people keep telling you to wait for me.
The first thing I really want for you to understand is that I was not born your Mr. Right. I promise we weren’t destined to cross paths and lock eyes from across a crowded room and fall hopelessly in love. God has been working in my heart for YEARS! Do you realize what was in my heart before Christ saved me?! Of course you don’t because we haven’t met yet, but I can promise you it is equally as crazy and sinful as what you’ve been walking through. That is why I need some time… And it is also why you need the same. Let’s do each other a huge favor and give one another the time to heal from our pasts and become something different; something whole. I know that you’ve spent a lot of time feeling less than whole, like you’re missing something, and so have I. But now we have both been made new in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) and need to take some time to learn to walk in this new wholeness. So, I’m going to give you that space and promise not to pursue you until God has made it clear that you are in the right season in your faith.
But here is the kicker and the second thing I need you to know… As patient and trusting in God’s timing as I am, this thing between you and I also hinges on your obedience and trust in the Lord. Have you ever read the Song of Solomon? There is a part in there that I will never forget. It says, “Promise me, O women of Jerusalem (Daughters of God); not to awaken love before the time is right” (NLT Emphasis Mine). Let me fill you in on why she says that. She is begging women not hurry into love for two reasons; one, because the real thing is so worth the wait. And two, because being joined with a person out of season is one of the most painful things someone can experience. Sure you can frolic in lala land for a little while, but what happens when the romance and passion subsides and your left with just your hearts, left open and bare? What happens when the struggles hit and the person you’re with isn’t strong enough to fight the good fight of faith? What happens when they mess up and you’re expected to show them the same grace Christ showed you? I’ll tell you what happens, things will fall apart. Whether on the surface or beneath it, things will fall apart…. That’s the truth, if two people are not both firmly rooted in their faith in Christ, they will suffer for that lack together. I could walk you through almost any church and show you marriage after marriage where people are suffering because they aroused love before it’s time. They are paying for the consequences of that decision decades down the road. Which is why we must join together in patience, even though we are apart.
Here is what we are working towards and the third thing I need you to know: God has asked me to be so much like Christ that you are able to submit to me as unto Him (Ephesians 5:22-33). And He is asking you to be able to submit to me and point me to Jesus by your actions, even when I’m acting like a fool (1 Peter 3:1-6). So take a minute and think… Could you really do that right now? I’m getting closer, but I don’t think I could do that just yet. But when God gives me a peace about the continual growth of my own faith, I will know and I’ll be obedient to pursue you. And you will know that it is me because I will respectfully, tactfully, and politely pursue you with very clear intentions. When a guy begins to talk to you, know that it’s me because I’ll be respectful and not flirting with you via text. Know that it’s me because I’ll be clear that I’m asking you on a date and won’t create an atmosphere where you have to question what we are doing or where we stand. Know that it’s me because when we are dating, I’ll not only be respectful of your emotional and physical boundaries, but also have some of my own. And know that it’s me because I’ll be more interested in your faith and what your relationship with Jesus looks like than being romantic and creating surface level connections.
So, please wait for me. For your sake and my own, wait. Wait because God is telling you to wait. Wait because you have more growing to do. Wait because I have more growing to do. And wait because it will be worth it. Because at the end of the day, the reason I’m not pursuing you yet is because I’m just not ready. And the reason you’re not being pursued by me yet is that you’re just not ready. So join with me in individually submitting to God…Even if that means that there actually isn’t a Mr. or Mrs. Right waiting for us… Can we be ok with that? Can we trust God and be okay with whatever the outcome, knowing that we have already received all we need in His Son? That’s a hard question, but until you’re in a place where you’re okay with never getting married, you won’t be in a place where I will be able to pursue you. Thinking of and praying for you,
– Mr. Right
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
― Marie Curie
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. ― Bertrand Russell
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LOVE. COMMITMENT. They really go hand-in-hand in any serious relationship. Love without commitment is just like a game. And nobody wants to be played, right? While commitment without love is no different from a business deal. Dry. Unfeeling. Fragile as a paper that can only last as long as the contract is valid.
Why am I thinking about these stuff anyway? Well, I’ve just realized yesterday during my contemplative moment that I’m not really afraid to love. In fact, I love to love. I love caring, loving, giving and sharing. What I’m really afraid of, I’ve come to realize, is to be loved in return by someone I truly love. Mainly because of the vulnerability it entails. Love strengthens and weakens. Love makes you powerful and defenseless at the same time. Love is a double-edged sword.
But last night, during the youth service, God cleared the confusing thoughts I’ve been having. He made me realize that like everything else, any relationship requires FAITH. All human relationships are vulnerable and has ending without God in it. Being in a relationship, particularly a romantic one, does not and will never give us any assurance that we will not get hurt or end up brokenhearted, perhaps for the first time for some, or all over again for someone like me. That’s why God should always be the top priority. It should always be God who completes and fills us. It should always be God whom we trust and rely on with all that we have and all that we are. We should not be overcome and driven by our selfish and worldly desires, but by the Spirit and the wisdom being poured upon us.
“To Kill A Mockingbird” is my ultimate fave classic novel. And this article just made me more curious about Harper Lee’s new book, “Go Set A Watchman.” Must-read!