inner ramblings

The Story Of A Girl I Knew

There’s a girl I knew. She was 17. She’s quiet, meek, good-hearted but alone. She got no close friends who cares. No one to talk to about her joys and problems. She’s busy with her studies in college in the morning and helping her mother financially in the evening. Her father was always away and seldom at home. Later on, she was made to believe that her father doesn’t care anymore and so, she has to work harder to help her mother.

That time, there was a man. For her, he was a father figure. He was always there. He was helping them find sources for a living. Almost every day and every night, he was with them to act like a father and her mentor. However, later on, things changed.

The man she thought of as her father, who’s actually a father of three in his own home and has a wife, started to change. He started looking at her differently. He started treating her differently. Later on, he confessed that he was falling in love with her. He has decided to keep away from them to prevent the unwanted things from happening. It made the girl sad but she thought it would be for the best. But her mother was desperate to keep the man. She deceived him. She sent him messages pretending as her daughter begging the man to stay. And so he stayed. That’s when things started to get awful.

Few months later, the girl found out she was pregnant. She was scared. She was shocked. “How could this happen?” she thought. Before that, several times the man assaulted her sexually.  But never once did the man succeed to penetrate her. There was only this one instance when the man got very close to it, but he was never able to succeed even then. So how could she become pregnant? If any doctor would examine her then, he/she would find her a virgin with a growing child in her womb!

She did not tell her mother at first. She told the man. He was shocked. He was in disbelief. He knew that he hadn’t succeeded in his assaults to the girl. Not even once. And so, he decided to abort the child. The girl was helpless. She had no one else to run to. With her studies and future in mind, regretfully, she agreed with the man’s plan. They went to an abortionist. They tried to kill the child in her womb. But guess what? They failed.

Finally, they told her mother. Her mother was in despair. But there’s nothing they could do. And so, they moved on with their lives. The following days, weeks and months were the most trying times in the girl’s life. She was despairing on her own. Many times at night, she cried in her sleep. She started questioning God. She did not stop going to school but due to shame and guilt, she withdrew herself even more from others. Later on, her tummy became noticeable. Her classmates and schoolmates started looking at her with questioning glances. There were few who were brave enough to ask her how many months she was on the way. There was even one kid who volunteered to be the child’s godparent in the future. She was so ashamed of herself.

However, her mother prepared her a lie to tell to anyone who would ask her about her condition. And so, guiltily, that’s what she told anyone who asked her. That she has an ovarian cyst.

Through all those times, her mother was looking at her disdainfully. There was no one she could turn to except for the man. That’s when the girl learned to love the man more than just a father. Later on, after the man’s long waiting and begging, she finally gave herself up to him. They had an affair. The man was the center of the girl’s world. She chose to not listen to the tiny voice deep within her that kept telling her that what she’s doing was wrong. Every moment she spent with him was bliss. Which instantly turned to guilt and shame the moment he leaves her each day.

On the seventh month of her pregnancy, she started to labor. There were complications in her pregnancy that made the girl suffer and in pain. One Friday night in April, a night when Jesus died, the girl gave birth to a child. It was a ceasarian operation. The scar from that night will always remind her of what she had once been…and the sacrifice of a new life. The baby girl died in the middle of labor and operation.

Life continued. She continued her studies. She continued being alone. And also, their sinful affair did not end yet. Later on in their relationship, the girl started to be eaten away by jealousy. She became selfish. She finally realized that she wanted to be the only one for the man. But she also knew that could never be possible. They started arguing, talking about the what ifs and regretting. At some point, the man planned to elope with her. They would leave everything behind. His family, her family, her studies and her future. The girl was willing to leave everything behind just to be with the man forever. But the plan never succeeded.

Near the end of their two-year affair, the girl and the man decided to break up. The girl was left alone, shattered, lost and broken. The following summer, the girl’s family also fell apart. From then on, she was left all alone and lived all by herself.


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