“1. We may not be looking for eternal commitment, but we are always looking for something that means something. We value things for what they are, and we know better than to constantly want more. This doesn’t mean we won’t want marriage or something like it one day, (many of us do), it’s just that most people don’t think love can be genuine, real or life-changing if it’s not forever, but we know better. (We’ve learned.) 2. We’ve been through a lot. Suffering is what makes people tender and empathetic and open and wise and aware, but it’s also what makes them guarded and sometimes sensitive. We’ve been heartbroken too many times to immediately give our trust and emotional investment. We’re careful, and we’ll dish our whole life story when we feel like it’s important for you to know it. Speaking of: 3. We consider communication to be the deepest form of intimacy. We’ll talk for hours, about everything, about anything, about nothing. This applies across the board: we like to be communicative in bed, when issues arise, etc. We base how healthy a relationship is on how honest we can be, and how often we can be it. 4. We act tough, but really more than anything else, we want romance and to be taken care of as much as we’ll take care of you. Even if we don’t show it immediately, just being kind and sweet and thoughtful means the world to us. We’re really not about grand gestures of love as much as we are savoring the little moments, the genuine expressions of caring and interest. 5. Don’t belittle our dreams and plans because other people would consider our actual age “too young” for them. It means you’re only acknowledging who we are on the surface, how many years we’ve had as opposed to what we’ve done with them, measuring us by how many days have passed as opposed to how much we’ve grown from them. 6. We need to be left alone regularly. We take our solitude seriously, it’s our recouping period. It’s time to reflect and sort through what’s going on. We are also typically of the belief that maintaining your ‘alone time’ apart from a relationship is absolutely crucial for its success. 7. We’re homebodies, we’re comfort-seekers. We’re much happier to know that we’re going to our old favorite diner this Friday than to some new swanky restaurant where we feel out of place. Propose staying in bed all day and ordering takeout and reading next to each other quietly and we’ll pretty much melt into a puddle of love. We like routine. 8. Which is not to say that we aren’t adventurous, just that we also want stability. We may want to travel the world, but we want a comfortable home to return to. (Apply that as a metaphor for relationships.) 9. We’re hyper-aware. We’re analytical/philosophical by nature, and as we’re just simply interested in the greater/deeper meaning of things, we can be prone to over-thinking it. Our desire to understand things on a visceral level often leads us to all but writing a thesis on the period placement of your last text message. We know it’s unflattering and unnecessary, but sometimes it’s hard to jump from one mindset to another. 10. We know what we want, and we need you to know what you want as well. As I said before, intimacy for us is communication, but if you have nothing to say but an echo of our sentiments, you’re not bringing your genuine self to the table, and we’re not interested in a surface-level thing.”
For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:5
You know, it’s one thing to suffer the consequences for our bad decisions, I can handle that…but to suffer because of an idiot is something else entirely. How many times have I questioned the sovereignty of God when I have to suffer because of someone’s sin? Why can’t God ride in on His big white horse and bring judgment on those who hurt the innocent? Why do good people have to suffer unimaginable anguish because of greedy, wicked, and selfish jerks? If I were God, those people would be an afterthought…a smoking hole. And that, ladies, is just one of the many reasons why I am not God.
If I stare into the face of injustice for too long, I get more and more outraged, but if I…
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Everything happens for a reason. Everything has a purpose. The people we encounter. Circumstances. Experiences. Places. Memories. Name it. They became part of our lives for reasons which may be within or beyond our own understanding, which most of the time, the latter. Nevertheless, I’d like to call them blessings.
These blessings do not always come as what we expect them to be like. That is, they don’t always come wrapped in beautiful packages. They don’t always come in material and disposable forms. I believe, the best blessings that come and happen to our lives are those that last and immaterial ones. Those ones that even though we perceived at first as ugly and unnecessary, we later on realized, in one way or another, they were in fact, blessings in disguise.
We’ve all been through bad and painful experiences. We’ve all encountered insufferable people. We’ve been involved in certain circumstances that seemed too small but when we think about the impact they did in our lives, they were, in fact, one of those biggest things that ever happened to us.
I have my own share of these kinds of blessings. When I really think about it, their count exceeds far greater than those material and physical ones I’ve received. The bad painful experiences I had in my past which I used to remember with regrets before are now memories that I’m thankful for. For those experiences were one of the biggest ones that shaped who I am today, whom I love and been getting to know more and more as I go on living by the way.
Another form of blessings that we used to overlook and taken for granted are the people we meet and encounter in our lives. We are only grateful for the ones who are kind and of good service to us. We tend to disregard those who are not, worse, even curse those who made us suffer and made us experience things no one would ever want to go through. But if we put it in a positive perspective, these people also served us just not in the conventional and usual ways we’re used to. In fact, if we think about it, these people might even be the ones who taught us some of the greatest lessons we will ever learn in our lives.
Even the simplest and smallest details that happen to us in our daily lives are also blessings in disguise. The decisions, from the biggest to the smallest ones that we make. The smallest acts that we do that seem so inconsequential to us but to others may be life-changing ones. Even those circumstances that hinder us from getting what we want or make our expectations crumble to pieces. Later on, we would realize that these small seemingly unimportant things that we do and being done to us were actually the important and inevitable ones for they will be the ones that would mostly fill up the bigger picture.
Through everything, we must always remember that there’s something or someone beyond us who have planned and put everything in order even before we were born. It now depends on us on how we will see and treat the things that come and happen to our lives. Will we see the ugly past as it is or will we see it as a hard-earned life lesson? Will we curse and regret having met the insufferable people in our lives or will we be thankful and even bless them for they help us develop our patience and gain more understanding? Will we treat the circumstances as just coincidences or will we treat them as inevitable ones that would make us want to live a purposeful life? Will we see these things as blessings or not? It is all just a matter of perspective anyway.
When the Israelites saw it, they didn’t know what it was and asked each other, “What is it?” Moses said to them, “This is the food that the Lord has given you to eat.” – Exodus 16:15
Most of the time, change is something terrifying and stressful to us. There are things that we got used to for such a long time that losing them makes us feel lacking and uncomfortable. And sometimes, because we got so comfortable and used to it, depending on its nature, we fail to see what needs to be changed and even if we know it, we have no desire to change it. Or in some cases, it could also be that we were not yet fully aware that something needs to be changed and so we are not able to do anything about it at the moment. Either ways, during these times, at some point, whether we like it or not, aware or not, God intervenes.
God’s intervention comes in the most unexpected and mysterious ways. His timing is always perfect, too. He intervenes and provides us the necessary “push” that we need to awaken us in our current need-to-be-changed situations just when we need it the most. And when He does, it’s up to us on how we are going to take the changes and transformations that He’s going to do in our lives.
Right now, in my case, the “push” came from a chain of fated meetings and circumstances with a book at its end handed to me directly. Through the struggles happening deep within me, I’m learning to trust in Him and not resist the work He’s doing. Only God knows me this deep that He’s able to work through me like this. Only Him knows what’s best for me. I may feel like a stranger to myself right now and somehow lacking, but this too will come to pass. In God’s time, I’ll be restored. I believe, the more I seek Him, the more I’ll lose myself. And the more I’ll be found. As long as I live, I am His work in progress.
There in the desert they all complained to Moses and Aaron and said to them, “We wish that the Lord had killed us in Egypt. There we could at least sit down and eat meat and as much other food as we wanted. But you have brought us out into this desert to starve us all to death.” – Exodus 16:2-3
You know that feeling when you’ve finally awaken from a really good dream? And you’re like, “WTH?” Then all of a sudden, reality starts to sink in. Like a water dam, reality flows in. And boom. Rose-colored glasses were taken off your eyes. Butterflies flew out and away from your insides. It’s like the walls you’ve built for so long are being torn down. Deep inside, you are shaken. Vulnerable. Lost.
For so long, knowingly and unkowingly, I’ve pampered my hopeless romantic emotions and fantasies. I thought it was alright to nurse and be carried away by my crushes. I’ve been an excellent example of someone who was so in love with being in love and who got so easily infatuated. Which usually led to unreasonable heartbreaks, pathetic crying and time wasted on thinking and contemplating if what I’m feeling is love. Sounds crazy, right? But that’s how I was. That’s who I WAS. (Emphasis on the past tense.)
However, a certain book showed me how wrong I’ve been. First, a part of the book bluntly described me. From the book, I realized, I’ve been so in love with love and deeply infatuated. And just like that, a war broke out in my soul. At once, it stopped being crazy about love and slowly, the infatuation melted away.
Right now, I feel nothing. Lost would best describe the state I’m currently in. For you see, being hopelessly romantic and intense have been large parts of me for so long. And now, just because of one book, they all crumbled down. I feel like I’m in a state of repair. If I would describe in one word what’s happening to me, the term “unbecoming” would fit so well.
I don’t know yet the purpose for the “unbecoming” that’s happening to me. I’m still not used to the “new person” residing in me. It feels so different. No more crazy spazzing over handsome/cute fandoms. No more intense crushing over someone. No more nonsense smiling and laughing. No more romantic daydreams. And a lot more. These things that have unconsciously became habits to me now seem pointless. Irresponsible. Immature. Whenever I catch myself unconsciously dwelling on a romantic fantasy, I immediately refrain from it. It’s not a healthy habit for me.
You see, the book did not only point out my self-endangering habits. It also taught me how I would attain the very thing that I’m looking for in my future forever relationship. Because in the first place, I don’t want a short-term, temporary, just-for-fun relationship with an opposite sex if God willed me to be in one. The book showed me just exactly what I want: TRUE LOVE. Which leads to forever-after. Marriage. And to achieve that kind of love, it is not just about being attracted to each other which eventually leads to love. True love is characterized by these things: COMMITTED. SINCERE. SELFLESS. RESPONSIBLE.
Finally, knowing these things, it made me think. Perhaps the process of unbecoming that’s happening to me right now will help me someday find the kind of love I dream of having. And I have this feeling that it’s gonna be a very long wait. For I still have lots of goals and dreams to achieve. Lots of places to visit. God gave me so many talents and I know I have to use them all to serve Him. Until then, true love, please wait. Only when God gives the green light will I fully commit to the person God has prepared just for me.
To that person (whoever you are),
Let’s wait on each other. Let’s not awaken love until we’re ready. For now, let’s focus on the One who loved us first. These things I swear. I’ll commit my entire time living alone in pleasing God. I’ll be sincere in everything I do so that by doing so, I’m spreading and sharing God’s light and love to the world. I’ll be selfless in serving and helping everyone around me. Lastly, I’ll be responsible for myself, most importantly, my heart, for from it, everything flows.
To my destined true love, until God’s fated time.
Your destined true love
“Then be content poor heart. God’s plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold. We must not tear the close-shut leaves apart.” – originally taken from “Sometime” by May Riley Smith; an excerpt from “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris
“I mean the morning after a great night out when your best friend and you spend the day in your pajamas talking about the disasters that occur after midnight. The morning after that turns into an afternoon filled with Tijuana Flats and ice cream… because that’s what weekends are for.
I am all for finding your soulmate. But, maybe you don’t recognize the one that you already have.
My kind of soulmate is the one that takes a spontaneous road trip with you when you’re feeling sad. The kind of person that drives to your house when you’re crying, picks you up, and moves you into theirs for an undetermined stay. The kind of friend that listens to you say the exact same thing a million times over, always with a good set of advice, until one day you’re over it and returning the favor.
My kind of soulmate is someone that remembers your birthday without Facebook, and sends you thoughtful gifts from another continent. The type of person that tells you how it is no matter how brutal because they know it’s best for you. The kind of person that knows all your deepest secrets and tattoos them on their hearts as if it were their own.
My kind of soulmate is the one that makes you laugh until you pee your pants, and continues to laugh when you do. The kind of person that will forgive you because there are too many moments to miss out on by staying mad. The type of friend that will judge everyone else with you, but will never judge you no matter what you could’ve done.
My kind of soulmate is the one that finds a way to make you smile at your darkest. The type of person that tells you when you’re wrong, and builds you up when you’re wrong about yourself. The kind of friend that will take selfies with you at the bar and not give a shit about who’s watching. The kind of person that believes in you even when you don’t believe in yourself. “
Everyone wants to believe in their one true love. They want to believe in love’s true kiss, the chill-you-to-your-bones first look when you fall in love, and the earth-shattering moment you’ve found the person you can’t live without. You want to imagine the day when nothing else matters but the hand you’re holding, the eyes that watch you fall asleep and the smile that wakes you in the morning.
Everyone wants to believe in finding his or her soulmate. The person that fits you so completely, you’re not sure how you survived so long without them. The person that finishes your thought even before you have, and pushes you to reach even higher than your dreams. Everyone wants to wait for the person that fills you with so much joy that you forget what sorrow is. The person that you take the most important walk with – down the…
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Thank you for this. Being lonely and stupid at the same time just sounds idiotic. I’ll keep that in mind. Haha!
If you’re gonna be lonely, don’t be stupid, too.
Don’t be selfish and mope.
If you have to be alone or you want to be alone,
don’t waste it on being depressed.
Don’t sit in your filth
and scowl as hours dance
and wait for somebody to be sorry.
Don’t throw up your hands
and shake your head as others try,
as if you’re so wise not to bother.
Don’t open your mouth to sing
unless you got some words of hope
because nobody wants to hear you.
When you’re lonely, raise hell
beat the drums, rejoice
that you got so much livin’ to do
and then do it.
When you hit the bottom,
grab a shovel,
find some oil since
you’re down there anyway.
‘Cause you’re right-
there’s not too much love out there-
but if there were
there’d be no reason to search.
And as long as you’re…
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