I was in the middle of reading the book of Nehemiah when suddenly, I got this urge, more of a nagging feeling actually, to reflect and write about it. I was feeling sick as I was trying to delay or ignore doing it. And so I relented.
The wall that Nehemiah was rebuilding symbolizes each of us as a child of God. As long as we live, we are continuously being rebuilt and restored in His love and by His grace for in reality, whether we’re aware of it or not, we still keep on sinning no matter how strict we lead our lives. And sins make holes and make the wall crumble to the ground. And only through His son, Jesus, can we ever be rebuilt and completed again. And since we keep on sinning, it is really and indeed very important that we keep a constant and sincere communication with God so He may be able to guide us, help us, enlighten us, teach us, strengthen us and heal us in the rebuilding process every time we sin unknowingly or not.
Of course, like in the story, we won’t and can’t be able to do it all alone. We know that God knows our deepest desires even those unbeknownst to us. So even at first we’re not yet consciously aware of our desire to be restored in His love yet, God provides us the necessary seen and unseen “forces” for Him to be able to start His work in us. These “forces” may be people, circumstances, anything actually that will lead us to Him. And in time, in the process of our rebuilding or transformation, when we finally become aware of what He’s been doing to us all along, we can’t help but be profoundly amazed and overwhelmed by His overflowing grace, beauty, goodness and awesomeness. And the holes will be filled. The rubble will be cleared. The walls will be rebuilt. Not all at once though. We have to be in constant work with God and in complete abandon to Him so He may be able to finish rebuilding us to completion. We must let go and let God take control so that His Wisdom will be able to pour on us and take over our selves and our lives.
But similar to what Nehemiah and his people have experienced, there will always be oppositions that will hinder, distract and/or discourage us from rebuilding. In our lives, these may be toxic people, bad habits, circumstances or perhaps, ourselves itself. Due to past experiences and some things that were ingrained to us for so long, consciously and/or unconsciously, we sabotage ourselves. Our fears and doubts take over our desire to be rebuilt. For there’s one thing that makes most of us feel discomfort: Change. Or transformation. And I think these fears, doubts and discomfort stem from our unwillingness to completely, wholeheartedly, recklessly and unabashedly surrender to God. For only with Him can all our fears and doubts be chased away. Only in Him can we be sure and guided in our ways. Yes, there will be times, and expect lots of those by the way, that life will break us and make us crumble to the ground. But take heart and be comforted with this: God is always there to restore us. We just need to depend on Him, obey Him, trust Him, call on Him and most of all, surrender to Him so He may be able to heal us and restore us in His love by His grace.
In relation to this, here’s my prayer:
Father God, thank You and I’ll be forever grateful to You for continuously, tirelessly and lovingly rebuilding me every time I break, fall apart and feel weak inside. Thank You for Your constant and faithful love that keeps on restoring me and making me who I am each passing day. I love what You’re doing to me, oh Father, even if at times, I find Your ways hard and challenging. Nevertheless, I ask You, oh Father, to continue what You have started in me. For all of my days and all of my life, take control of me, especially at times when I unknowingly and/or unconsciously try to take control even with the smallest details. I ask You, oh Father, to use me so that not only me will be rebuilt but also those I encounter in my life. I humbly ask these things of You, oh Father, for these are some of the only ways I know that I can show and tell You how much I love You, too. For I know that I could never, no one could, equal Your love for me, for us Your children. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.