poem

Random Poetry VI: Lonesomeness

Just one of those random moments of lonesomeness. Sometimes too much solitude is drowning.

 

Left alone with my thoughts,
Music in my ears;
Sad thoughts I fought,
As songs battle with my fears;
Peace is what I sought,
As happy bottles the tears.

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poem

Weeping. Sobbing. Crying.

Last night I slept
Weeping, crying
From being caged
Like a bird
Who lost its wings
Like a fish
Caught in the seas

And as the day breaks
Tears kept flowing
I woke up crying
Sobbing from dreaming
A dream dying
A dream saying,
“We can’t be in the same world.”

Last night and today
I wept.
I sobbed.
I cried.

poem

Amnesia

‘Cause I can’t remember his face and his voice. And it makes me feel sad.

Thy face is a blur
Thy voice forgotten
Mem’ries are missing
Losing everything
My soul is sick
My heart is weak
Lost in the misery
Of my lost memory
Of thee

poem

Random Poetry IV: God Be With Me

No stars in sight
Storm brewing in the night
Soul is filled with fright
O God, be my light!

Winds are so strong
Lost sense of direction
All seems going wrong
O God, be my guide!

Lost in the middle
Of the seas so dark
Lost all hope thinking
I am all alone
But then I was wrong
You’re here all along

O God, You’re with me
O God, You found me
O God, be with me
Now and forever

inner ramblings

A Reflection On The Book of Nehemiah

I was in the middle of reading the book of Nehemiah when suddenly, I got this urge, more of a nagging feeling actually, to reflect and write about it. I was feeling sick as I was trying to delay or ignore doing it. And so I relented.
————————————————————

The wall that Nehemiah was rebuilding symbolizes each of us as a child of God. As long as we live, we are continuously being rebuilt and restored in His love and by His grace for in reality, whether we’re aware of it or not, we still keep on sinning no matter how strict we lead our lives. And sins make holes and make the wall crumble to the ground. And only through His son, Jesus, can we ever be rebuilt and completed again. And since we keep on sinning, it is really and indeed very important that we keep a constant and sincere communication with God so He may be able to guide us, help us, enlighten us, teach us, strengthen us and heal us in the rebuilding process every time we sin unknowingly or not.

Of course, like in the story, we won’t and can’t be able to do it all alone. We know that God knows our deepest desires even those unbeknownst to us. So even at first we’re not yet consciously aware of our desire to be restored in His love yet, God provides us the necessary seen and unseen “forces” for Him to be able to start His work in us. These “forces” may be people, circumstances, anything actually that will lead us to Him. And in time, in the process of our rebuilding or transformation, when we finally become aware of what He’s been doing to us all along, we can’t help but be profoundly amazed and overwhelmed by His overflowing grace, beauty, goodness and awesomeness. And the holes will be filled. The rubble will be cleared. The walls will be rebuilt. Not all at once though. We have to be in constant work with God and in complete abandon to Him so He may be able to finish rebuilding us to completion. We must let go and let God take control so that His Wisdom will be able to pour on us and take over our selves and our lives.

But similar to what Nehemiah and his people have experienced, there will always be oppositions that will hinder, distract and/or discourage us from rebuilding. In our lives, these may be toxic people, bad habits, circumstances or perhaps, ourselves itself. Due to past experiences and some things that were ingrained to us for so long, consciously and/or unconsciously, we sabotage ourselves. Our fears and doubts take over our desire to be rebuilt. For there’s one thing that makes most of us feel discomfort: Change. Or transformation. And I think these fears, doubts and discomfort stem from our unwillingness to completely, wholeheartedly, recklessly and unabashedly surrender to God. For only with Him can all our fears and doubts be chased away. Only in Him can we be sure and guided in our ways. Yes, there will be times, and expect lots of those by the way, that life will break us and make us crumble to the ground. But take heart and be comforted with this: God is always there to restore us. We just need to depend on Him, obey Him, trust Him, call on Him and most of all, surrender to Him so He may be able to heal us and restore us in His love by His grace.

In relation to this, here’s my prayer:

Father God, thank You and I’ll be forever grateful to You for continuously, tirelessly and lovingly rebuilding me every time I break, fall apart and feel weak inside. Thank You for Your constant and faithful love that keeps on restoring me and making me who I am each passing day. I love what You’re doing to me, oh Father, even if at times, I find Your ways hard and challenging. Nevertheless, I ask You, oh Father, to continue what You have started in me. For all of my days and all of my life, take control of me, especially at times when I unknowingly and/or unconsciously try to take control even with the smallest details. I ask You, oh Father, to use me so that not only me will be rebuilt but also those I encounter in my life. I humbly ask these things of You, oh Father, for these are some of the only ways I know that I can show and tell You how much I love You, too. For I know that I could never, no one could, equal Your love for me, for us Your children. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

reblog

You Should Fall In Love With Someone Who Inspires You

My heart is guarded. Nevertheless, he already inspires me. A lot. And if God’s willing, whether it’s him or somebody else, someday…

“…I want to inspire you, too. I want to be able to push you. To stretch your limits and make you step outside of your comfort zone. Because inspiration is like a weed when you have the right amount. It grows wildly and quickly, and spreads throughout the surface. When it works, when it really works, we feed off of each other. We make each other better. We consistently try new things and pursue higher heights. That’s…well, that’s inspirational.

And that’s what I hope for. Maybe it’s a bit far-reaching but maybe it really isn’t at all.

Is that not the epitome of every healthy relationship? It’s a loose term: inspiration (and it’s largely open to interpretation). But think about it. Think of some important traits when you envision the perfect relationship: couples who love each other, who try new things together, who make time for each other, who put each other first, who listen to each other, who push each other. And now think about inspiration. What does inspiration make you do? Does it make you care? Love? Push harder and further? Depending on the situation, it certainly does.

Inspiration makes us better. Inspiration makes us want to do something. It moves our emotions, our intellect, our behavior. And is that not what every relationship needs? We need to be influenced to feel happiness and love, influenced to deeply care for someone other than ourselves, influenced to better ourselves while we better those around us. Quite frankly, that sounds pretty healthy to me.

So that’s all I want. And it encompasses so very, very, much, that one little word. Inspiration. 11 letters, 4 syllables, and a different meaning for every person walking this earth. But there’s someone out there — maybe you’ve already found them or maybe you’re still looking — but there’s someone walking around with a bottle of inspiration ready to swirl and mix with your own. To create that perfect recipe that leaves us with a sweet taste in our mouth and a warm feeling in our heart.

Fill your jar. Screw that lid on tight. And unleash that beauty when you’re good and ready.

Be inspired. Inspire others. Our world could use a bit more of that. “

Thought Catalog

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There’s one trait that I continuously find myself coming back to when it comes to dating: inspiration.

I don’t really care how you spend your time. I mean I hope you have hobbies, and it’d be cool if we have some in common, but as long as you spend your time doing things you enjoy, that’s cool with me. I don’t really care about your education. Do I hope you have one? Absolutely, that’s important to me. But I understand that it isn’t for everyone. Do I care about your job? Nah. But please, please, have a job that you enjoy doing. That’s all.

I really should reiterate. Because I DO care. I care about each and every aspect of you, even the ones I don’t always want to care about or the aspects you wish I wouldn’t care about. I care to know you — and knowing you…

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poem

Helpless

I just badly need to let it out. It’s harsh. It would have been easier if I could cry…like I always do at times like these. But right now, it seems like the tears were buried so far deep within me. I’m in desperate need to let it go so…I just poured out those unshed tears in this poem.

What do I do?
I can’t help the feeling
This feeling of missing
So irrational
So illogical
Keeps bugging me
Keeps eating me
To the core of my being.

You know that feeling?
When you can’t stop thinking
Of that someone you’re admiring
Secretly
Specially
Adoringly
And unknowingly
Lovingly?

So what do I do?
How long will I last?
Been through this in the past
When he still seemed unreal
No basis for what I feel
But now things changed
He’s now for real
And I can’t help what I feel.

Oh, tell me what to do!
For I must keep hiding
These secret feelings
Oh, if only I could cry!
But tears won’t come
I don’t know why
Will this too shall pass?
The future is yet to come.

reblog

I Hope You Fall In Love Someday

What would it feel like to love and to be loved in return? Hmmm. I’m excited for what God has in store for me. I’m patiently waiting for His written love story just for me…and the destined prince that He has in His plans for me. ❤
"I hope that you love them wholly, the good and the bad. I hope that the days you spend apart are hard, but the days you spend together make up for it. I hope that once you find them, you can’t picture your life without them. I hope that they take your breath away. I hope that, together, you create happiness. I hope that with them, you’re not afraid of the future, but excited for it. I hope that, every day, they tell you how much they love you. I hope that when you find them, you realize it before it’s too late. I hope that you take them and love them and never let them go. I hope you find it."

Thought Catalog

I hope that someday you find someone that gives you butterflies the moment you meet them. And that the first time you touch, it feels like electricity is running through your body. I hope your first date is magical and your first kiss, earth shattering. I hope that when you’re with them, you never want to leave. I hope you are the first and last thing they think about every day.

I hope you play it cool in front of people, but can’t keep your hands off each other in private. I hope the only thing they ever steal from you are glances and kisses. And I hope that they make you whole, instead of tearing you apart. I hope that when you give them your heart, they don’t break it. I hope you have a love worthy of a fairy tale.

I hope you take the two hand touch…

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lyrics

Shine For You

Through the gaps of my broken soul
Your light shine through
Through the cracks of my wounded heart
Your light shine through

Now I’m whole again
Your love filled the holes
Of my heart and soul
So now they

Shine for You
I wanna shine for You
I gotta shine for You
I love to shine for You
It’s all I wanna do
That’s how I love You

Like the sun rising at dawn
Your light breaking through the night
Turning darkness into light
No more shadows
In my tomorrows
With You Jesus
So make me

Shine for You
I wanna shine for You
I gotta shine for You
I love to shine for You
It’s all I wanna do
That’s how I love You