Amnesia

Amnesia

‘Cause I can’t remember his face and his voice. And it makes me feel sad.

Thy face is a blur
Thy voice forgotten
Mem’ries are missing
Losing everything
My soul is sick
My heart is weak
Lost in the misery
Of my lost memory
Of thee

A Reflection On The Book of Nehemiah

A Reflection On The Book of Nehemiah

I was in the middle of reading the book of Nehemiah when suddenly, I got this urge, more of a nagging feeling actually, to reflect and write about it. I was feeling sick as I was trying to delay or ignore doing it. And so I relented.
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The wall that Nehemiah was rebuilding symbolizes each of us as a child of God. As long as we live, we are continuously being rebuilt and restored in His love and by His grace for in reality, whether we’re aware of it or not, we still keep on sinning no matter how strict we lead our lives. And sins make holes and make the wall crumble to the ground. And only through His son, Jesus, can we ever be rebuilt and completed again. And since we keep on sinning, it is really and indeed very important that we keep a constant and sincere communication with God so He may be able to guide us, help us, enlighten us, teach us, strengthen us and heal us in the rebuilding process every time we sin unknowingly or not.

Of course, like in the story, we won’t and can’t be able to do it all alone. We know that God knows our deepest desires even those unbeknownst to us. So even at first we’re not yet consciously aware of our desire to be restored in His love yet, God provides us the necessary seen and unseen “forces” for Him to be able to start His work in us. These “forces” may be people, circumstances, anything actually that will lead us to Him. And in time, in the process of our rebuilding or transformation, when we finally become aware of what He’s been doing to us all along, we can’t help but be profoundly amazed and overwhelmed by His overflowing grace, beauty, goodness and awesomeness. And the holes will be filled. The rubble will be cleared. The walls will be rebuilt. Not all at once though. We have to be in constant work with God and in complete abandon to Him so He may be able to finish rebuilding us to completion. We must let go and let God take control so that His Wisdom will be able to pour on us and take over our selves and our lives.

But similar to what Nehemiah and his people have experienced, there will always be oppositions that will hinder, distract and/or discourage us from rebuilding. In our lives, these may be toxic people, bad habits, circumstances or perhaps, ourselves itself. Due to past experiences and some things that were ingrained to us for so long, consciously and/or unconsciously, we sabotage ourselves. Our fears and doubts take over our desire to be rebuilt. For there’s one thing that makes most of us feel discomfort: Change. Or transformation. And I think these fears, doubts and discomfort stem from our unwillingness to completely, wholeheartedly, recklessly and unabashedly surrender to God. For only with Him can all our fears and doubts be chased away. Only in Him can we be sure and guided in our ways. Yes, there will be times, and expect lots of those by the way, that life will break us and make us crumble to the ground. But take heart and be comforted with this: God is always there to restore us. We just need to depend on Him, obey Him, trust Him, call on Him and most of all, surrender to Him so He may be able to heal us and restore us in His love by His grace.

In relation to this, here’s my prayer:

Father God, thank You and I’ll be forever grateful to You for continuously, tirelessly and lovingly rebuilding me every time I break, fall apart and feel weak inside. Thank You for Your constant and faithful love that keeps on restoring me and making me who I am each passing day. I love what You’re doing to me, oh Father, even if at times, I find Your ways hard and challenging. Nevertheless, I ask You, oh Father, to continue what You have started in me. For all of my days and all of my life, take control of me, especially at times when I unknowingly and/or unconsciously try to take control even with the smallest details. I ask You, oh Father, to use me so that not only me will be rebuilt but also those I encounter in my life. I humbly ask these things of You, oh Father, for these are some of the only ways I know that I can show and tell You how much I love You, too. For I know that I could never, no one could, equal Your love for me, for us Your children. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

You Should Fall In Love With Someone Who Inspires You

You Should Fall In Love With Someone Who Inspires You

My heart is guarded. Nevertheless, he already inspires me. A lot. And if God’s willing, whether it’s him or somebody else, someday…

“…I want to inspire you, too. I want to be able to push you. To stretch your limits and make you step outside of your comfort zone. Because inspiration is like a weed when you have the right amount. It grows wildly and quickly, and spreads throughout the surface. When it works, when it really works, we feed off of each other. We make each other better. We consistently try new things and pursue higher heights. That’s…well, that’s inspirational.

And that’s what I hope for. Maybe it’s a bit far-reaching but maybe it really isn’t at all.

Is that not the epitome of every healthy relationship? It’s a loose term: inspiration (and it’s largely open to interpretation). But think about it. Think of some important traits when you envision the perfect relationship: couples who love each other, who try new things together, who make time for each other, who put each other first, who listen to each other, who push each other. And now think about inspiration. What does inspiration make you do? Does it make you care? Love? Push harder and further? Depending on the situation, it certainly does.

Inspiration makes us better. Inspiration makes us want to do something. It moves our emotions, our intellect, our behavior. And is that not what every relationship needs? We need to be influenced to feel happiness and love, influenced to deeply care for someone other than ourselves, influenced to better ourselves while we better those around us. Quite frankly, that sounds pretty healthy to me.

So that’s all I want. And it encompasses so very, very, much, that one little word. Inspiration. 11 letters, 4 syllables, and a different meaning for every person walking this earth. But there’s someone out there — maybe you’ve already found them or maybe you’re still looking — but there’s someone walking around with a bottle of inspiration ready to swirl and mix with your own. To create that perfect recipe that leaves us with a sweet taste in our mouth and a warm feeling in our heart.

Fill your jar. Screw that lid on tight. And unleash that beauty when you’re good and ready.

Be inspired. Inspire others. Our world could use a bit more of that. “

Thought Catalog

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There’s one trait that I continuously find myself coming back to when it comes to dating: inspiration.

I don’t really care how you spend your time. I mean I hope you have hobbies, and it’d be cool if we have some in common, but as long as you spend your time doing things you enjoy, that’s cool with me. I don’t really care about your education. Do I hope you have one? Absolutely, that’s important to me. But I understand that it isn’t for everyone. Do I care about your job? Nah. But please, please, have a job that you enjoy doing. That’s all.

I really should reiterate. Because I DO care. I care about each and every aspect of you, even the ones I don’t always want to care about or the aspects you wish I wouldn’t care about. I care to know you — and knowing you…

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