11 Relationships 20-Somethings Are Good At Being Involved In

Hahaha! Facebook, Twitter and Laptop. ❤

Thought Catalog


Relationships have been made complicated, for a million reasons. 20-somethings though, have butchered and tossed the traditional concepts of dating, and relationships. What we’ve done is “re-invent” the terms of what relationships are, or what they should be – while justifying one’s desire to simply not have one – as if it’s a crime to not want a relationship. And like anything re-invented by a 20-something or Generation-Y-er, in the process of it all – we’ve lost credibility in a lot of ways from select groups. Particularly, people who fall outside of those groups. Even worse is the fact that many 20-somethings have given up on dating, and relationships entirely. To many, it simply seems like relationships are failing.

But, I’m here to remind everyone that we’re not failing. In fact, we manage our relationships flawlessly – there’s just one problem. Our most stable relationships are not with people, but rather, they’re with…

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To My ‘Ochujin’

My dearest ‘ochujin’
How have you been?
What are you doin’?
I’m wonderin’
Are you okay?
How is your day?
It’s almost end of May
Summer won’t stay
So how was it?
Did you like it?
If you’d ask me
I’d like for it to stay
Go backwards if I may
And change my way with you
For I’ve been an idiot
Always when around you
No words were coming out
My heart’s sealing my mouth
Can’t even look at you
My eyes might say the truth
But it’s too late
I can’t stop fate
Summer’s going away
But in my heart you’ll stay
WAIT, what did I just say?

inner ramblings

Flightless Butterfly


I saw this butterfly yesterday morning. It was lying on the fourth floor of our college building. Motionless. Seemingly lifeless. Flightless. When I saw it, I smiled simply because I found it beautiful. Then as I went near it and found out that it wasn’t moving, as if dead, I immediately felt sad. I was asking then, “Why is it not flying? What happened? Why is it lying on the ground?” Since then, it never left my mind. I had to leave it there lying on the floor and just hoped and prayed that it was still alive and would soon fly again. Nevertheless, it left me thoughtful and contemplative.

Later that day, a thought occurred to me. Perhaps it just got tired from flying. It flew higher than it should have and so it got very tired. It should have just flown among the plants below but it didn’t. Instead, it flew higher among the trees! By doing so, it lost it’s energy to fly eventually and landed on the fourth floor. I’m badly hoping that this was the case.

Aside from being bothered as to why and how it was lying on the floor and not flying, there was something else that makes it hard for me to get the butterfly out of my head. I feel like it was telling me something…essential. I’m not sure what it’s trying to tell me exactly. I can only guess or assume.

Somehow, I identify myself in this butterfly I saw. Sometimes, I get so tired and exhausted, physically and more often emotionally, that I just wanna stop moving. Maybe, I’ve been like this butterfly for quite so long now. I’ve been ‘flying’ in a wrong place making me burned out from time to time. Yes, I admit, it’s exactly how I feel about my course for a long time now. And if not for a book that I’ve started reading just yesterday morning, I might still be the same right now.

Finally, I realize that this butterfly symbolizes a part of me. Yes, I may not love my course as much as I love singing right now, but in time, I’ll learn to love it. The change is now starting in me. And I know, God will never stop changing me until I become the person He wants me to be. The day will certainly come when I will no longer experience being a flightless, motionless, exhausted butterfly.


A Kite

Like a kite
Controlled by a string
I hold tight
Emotions inside
Feels so right
But must keep hiding
Gotta fight
This helpless feeling
In my heart
So helpless, hopeless
With a sigh
I can only pray
And trust Him
In His plans for me
And for you
Who made me a kite


This Road

Every hour is a day-away
Every tomorrow is a year-away
Every weekend is a decade-away
The future seems so far away
As I live day-by-day
In a monotonous way

Wondering how long I would last
On this long road full of dust
This unbearable fate I was cast
Hoping that this too shall pass
Until then be strong I must
And be patient and steadfast

So while I walk down this road
Encounter things I was never told
Some I’ll lose, some I’ll hold
Others that will make me whole
While some will break my soul
And I’ll be lying on the soil

For a while I will cry
Stay down and dare not to try
Asking and looking for reasons why
Head bent low and heart’s about to die
But as I look up to the sky
I’ll be okay and I’ll stand up high

The sky so high that I love so much
To stare at and smile at like my crush
Giving me hope, peace and things as such
As I walk down this road so rough to touch
To the future far ahead and hard to catch
I’ll be fine for He loves me so much


The 15 Prettiest Things Girls Do

Will there ever be someone else to whom I can do these pretty things? If not in this lifetime, then maybe in the next one.

Thought Catalog

1. Smile in the middle of a kiss, and then pull back and look at you and laugh a little. You don’t really know why they’re laughing, and for all you know, it’s at you, but hey whatever because they look gorgeous while doing it.

2. Keep their living space in a slight state of disarray. I think the things people surround themselves with say a lot about them, and there’s nothing more beautiful than getting to peek at what a girl keeps on her dresser, or whatever other little sentimental things she likes to keep around her.

3. Call you late at night not because they’re crying or upset or need someone, but just because they want to say hi, and see how your day went.

4. When asked a question, they stop and furrow their foreheads and genuinely think about the answer– not because they’re confused, not because…

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A friend in disguise
I don’t understand why
Thy self would hide
When thy seemed nice
Some questions asked
Gave me the creeps
Some nights I find it hard to sleep
Invading my mind day and night
Whenever I got nothing to do
I can’t help but wonder who
The person behind might be
Thy curiosity of me
Which I now have for thee
Hoping thou take pity on me
And reveal thy self
So peace I’ll find for myself
And I’d do the asking and knowing
If only thou stop hiding and probing

inner ramblings

The Hidden Message

I’ve been haunted by my past for a while now. Ever since I started to get to know God in a different perspective, I can’t help but look back and ponder on what happened back then. The hows. The whys. The what ifs. The circumstances. The decisions and choices made. Back then, I was foolishly and blindly asking and calling God for help, for reasons as to why He was letting those things happen to me. Why did He not save me from the fall? Why did He let me keep on falling and hit rock bottom?

You see, it was different back then. I was all alone. By alone, I mean ALONE. No close friends. Not a single soul I could run to. No confidante. No one but myself. I was a busybody back then with my first year in college and with my mother relying on me for our financial needs at home. Until that person came. He showed me that he cared for me. He understood me. He listened to me. He made me feel loved. And along the way, despite the circumstances we were in, I learned to love him, too. Yes, I was naive and stupid. Those times, I kept on asking and begging God to save me, help me from the mess I was in. I was helpless. I was miserable. It was a tough love. The happiness was only temporary. Nobody but myself alone can save me from it. But I sincerely loved him. And so even if I’ve been wrecked by guilt, shame and despair every time we were together, we continued. What could I do? Back then, there was only him. I got no one else. Not even my mother who pretended to be blind from what was happening right in front of her for she, too, was desperate.

Then more than a year later, something happened. It left me scarred and broken. And we finally broke up. For a while, I was at my lowest. Lost self. Lost confidence. But life must go on until I was able to transfer to UPD for my sophomore year. Little by little, I moved on. Through some people, He picked me up and led me back to the right path.

So much have already happened since then. I’ve come a long way from the person I was to who I am right now. I have close friends now whom I can talk and run to whenever. I value them so much for I know how it feels to be all alone. I want to be there for them whenever they need someone to rely on. I also learned not to judge people who are nearly or exactly in the same situation I was in for I know how it was like to feel helpless, desperate and having your life revolve on one person who’ll never deserve it.

So why is my past haunting me now? What is He trying to tell me? What’s the hidden message behind my horrible past? I guess it’s becoming clear to me. He let me experience and feel all those pain, miseries and horrible things for me to understand what it was like to be helpless and alone amidst everything. And because I’ve felt and experienced those myself, I couldn’t help but feel the sufferings of those who are experiencing the same things. That’s why no matter how worthless and dirty other people see them, I could never judge them. Because I understand very well that they never wanted to be in the miserable state they are in but circumstances led them there. If only there’s at least one good soul who cared and steered them the right way, they could have been saved. So, from now on, I promise this. If I find lonely souls who are about to lose their way or have lost their way, I will do my best to help them. I believe God is telling me that it’s about time for me to open up myself and be an inspiration to others. Perhaps it’s the reason why I feel so confused about my mother these past few days. God was telling me to do something and so I did.

But I have one last thing to reconcile with myself. I’ve accepted everything that happened to me in the past. But there’s one thing I can’t forgive myself yet. I guess only time…or someone can tell. And when that time comes, I shall be prepared for all the possibilities. Possibilities of being left behind and getting my heart and someone’s heart broken into pieces. Or shall I just rule out having a love life to avoid all the hurt and the pain? Well, I don’t know what plans God has in store for me but I trust Him. For I know that whatever He’s planning for me are for my own good for sure. I just have to wait and see.


What I Feel

If I express through music what I feel
The result will sound like a jumbled mess
Of notes and tones and pitch randomly hit
One that can’t be possibly understood
By just anyone except for a fool
Who listens with his heart not with his mind
A body with a sincere soul inside.

If I compose a song for what I feel
Words and music just might not be enough
To belt out everything I feel inside
The emotions I’ve been trying to hide
For so long I’m keeping them all alone
So many times I feel like I’ll explode
But eottoke? No one will understand.

If I paint a canvass for what I feel
It will be filled with strokes of dark colors
Of random hues and tones heavily brushed
Desperately and frustratingly
Make the poor innocent canvass suffer
From showing the emotions unspoken
A master piece by an ultimate fool.

If I try to make sense of what I feel
It will be like this poem I am writing
Vainly looking for ways to be relieved
Of these jumbled emotions I’m feeling
Trying to comprehend and understand
This messy emotional state I’m in
Why I’m feeling like this? What do I feel?